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| what if we put a sherlock holmes hat on cam newton? |
Here are what might be the last gems we ever have from the Redskins Radio Sonny - Sam - Larry combination. Enjoy.
Halftime Thoughts
Sonny: This looks like one of those 17-10 games, doesn’t it?
Sam: Well, hey, it’s the NFL, which means Not For Long. This is a typical game between these two teams. Always has been.
Larry: Cam Newton’s gonna be the rookie of the year, no doubt about that. He’s had an outstanding year, over 4000 yards passing for the rookie quarterback out of Auburn.
Sonny: He scored 14 touchdowns rushing, incredible.
Sam: Hey, he’s what, 320-some pounds, a rookie. Look what he did to the Redskins defense.
Larry: Well, I wouldn’t say 300. He isn’t that big.
Sam: Yes he is.
Larry: Cam Newton?
Sam: Yeah. Remember down there in Carolina, how he ran the ball?
Larry: 300 yards passing. He doesn’t weigh 300 pounds.
Sam: Yes he does.
Sonny: Noooooo.
Larry: Well, he’s been eating a lot of food down there.
Sonny: 250
Sam: How much?
Sonny: 250.
Sam: That’s big enough.
Sonny: Well, it is, but it’s not 300.
Sam: He’s probably drinking Gigolo Pee. I mean tea. Tea. Bigelow. Bigelow.
All: [Uproarious laughter.]
Sam: I’m sorry.
Larry: That’s Bigelow Tea.
Sam: I apologize
Larry: Sam, I told you not to stay out past midnight last night.
Sam: I didn’t! I got too much sleep!
Sonny: No more sushi for him.
Larry: No, that’s it, he’s done with that dinner. Anyway, McDonald’s brings you the scoreboard....
Sam: You haven’t heard anything yet, I guess. Oh goodness, I apologize for that.
The Doughty Late Hit
Larry: It is caught by Avant at the 43-yard line and a flag on the play, a late flag on the play. Alright, they’re not gonna flag Reed Doughty on that hit, are they? You’ve got to be kidding me.
Sam: Well, it was a big hit. Helmet to helmet I think.
Larry: That is just a horrible call, again.
Sonny: That was a bad call.
Larry: That was a horrible call. He missed him.
Official: [Announces penalty against Doughty]
Sonny: He whiffed him. Does that count?
Larry: That’s a horrible call
Sam: Pick up your handkerchief, for Christ’s sake! This is pro football.
Larry: I think he missed him. I don’t think he hit him.
Sonny: Yeah, I do too.
Sam: I mean, that’s one of the worst calls I’ve ever seen.
Sonny: He whiffed.
Sam: Maybe they have a little bet on this game.
The Colts’ Top Draft Pick
Sonny: The thing the Colts should do, they should take Luck, and make Peyton Manning the head coach, but the quarterback playing head coach, a playing coach. He plays quarterback and he also coaches.
Larry: Wait a minute, what are you talking about?
Sam: I don’t know either.
Larry: How, how would that work?
Sonny: It would work. He coaches them now. He has their entire offense. He runs the offense, he gets a defensive coordinator, and he’d be a playing coach. Sam Huff was a playing coach, coached a position.
Sam: Yup.
Sonny: And he’s just coaching the quarterback and would be the head coach.
Sam: You might have something there. You know, quarterbacks, they make things more complicated every once in a while.
Sonny: It’s not complicated, it’d be the playing coach as a quarterback, and he would teach Luck how to play the game. He’s gonna be coaching him anyway.
Sam: Well, there’s a guy like Michael Vick that looked like he could be a pretty good coach. He’s an athlete.
Larry [Changes subject]
i've read this half a dozen times since it was posted... i don't think chris guest could write something this good.... i can;t help but picture sam's lines being delivered by fred willard... larry sounds like he is doing everything in his power to keep some semblance of normalcy....
ReplyDeletewhile i think gary ron and keith might be the best sports booth in terms of insight, humor and relevance - i don't think they can hold a candle to the skins team from a purely comical standpoint.