I can't add a whole lot to this story. But if Fred Davis ever goes before a judge again I'm leaving work immediately to cover the story for J&N. This is priceless. I didn't think stuff like this happened outside of courtrooms not featuring Judge Reinhold. From the invaluable DC Sports Bog:
Davis would be a perfect fit for "Mock Trial with J. Reinhold"
Fred Davis is involved in a lawsuit of the most ridiculous kind. Davis and a woman named Makini R. Chaka are in a legal battle that includes restraining orders, possible escorts and accusations of juice throwing. And Davis is representing himself in the case, which means the court transcripts are full of gems like this from the Washingtonian’s write up:
“It’s just all made up and flagellant,” Davis told the judge during his closing argument. (Davis has no formal legal training, according to Jean Kuei, Davis’s former attorney.)
The whole thing is complicated and among the stupidest of stupid football player dramas. Here are a few highlights lowlights. * Chaka calls herself a “celebrity broker.” Davis’s sometime body guard, Stewart Prince, says she’s a pimp who often carries a “pimp cup.” * Davis and Prince claim Chaka is violent. “[Davis] began to distance himself from Chaka after she got into violent altercations with other women. Prince claimed in court documents that Chaka once fought a female stripper at Stadium Club in DC. More recently, Prince said, Chaka threw bottles at a woman at Mirage Night Club in Baltimore.” * Davis says Chaka is trying to extort money from him. Chaka claims the fact she works with Willis McGahee proves she’s not. “[McGahee] makes over 40 million dollars . . . yet you’re saying that I want to get Mr. Davis for money and he’s a second-round draft pick, and his, he doesn’t even gross anywhere close to Willis.” * Chaka is also representing herself, which leads to exchanges like this:
Davis: “As it shows, you also have your hand on his genitals. I mean why would you take a picture like that?”
Chaka: “I do not. Let’s look closely at the exhibit right here, Judge. Where is my hand placed in this exhibit?”
Judge: “I do not answer questions. . . . The witness does.”
Chaka: “Can you tell me where my hand is actually at in this photo?”
Davis: “It looks like it’s in the genitals to me. I mean your hands are on his genitals. Your hand is on his—”
Chaka: “Objection.”
It was whispered that Davis was moments away from calling surprise witness Franklin to the stand
president camacho's first order of business would obviously be making sure the army had enough brawndo (its got electrolytes)... second order woudl be making sure the army had snazzy uniforms, possibly with the brawndo logo.
I am thoroughly confused/mesmerized by this story. I found the link to in on the ticker over at Uni-Watch... where it was noted as being "branding run amok"... but this seems like a much bigger issue...
as the article states, in 2004, the army changed their camouflage design to something closer to the marines "digital" camouflage look.
i
remember Billy Bob saying at the time, "they are just copying the marines"...
now, i figured that was true, only because they simply wanted the most
effective camo for their soldiers. (aka, they would be stupid not to use
it, right?)
ok, army meeting. you guys need some new, cool, uniforms.
well if this article is accurate at all, the army
simply just copied the style of "digital" pattern, but did little to no
research on the colors to use, resulting in a camo that was essentially
giant mapquest arrows pointing out all of their soldiers, while in the
field.
the most damning quote came from the editor of "Soldier
Systems Daily" ( i'm assuming this is a highly regarded magazine in
military circles) who said “Brand identity trumped camouflage utility.
That’s what this really comes down to: ‘We can’t allow the Marine Corps
to look more cool than the Army.’ ”
if true, that is just a
debacle, and really just takes the insanity of over-branding to a whole
new level... it something south park woudl put in one of their shows to
spoof how bad global branding has become... the military essentially
slapping logos onto uniforms, to increase brand awareness, even though
it might get you killed... how is this real?
its one thing to have your band manager suggest you put a bit of hay in your mouth to look cool... or buying some leather suits to snug up on you in the rain... but thats only a problem if you trying to get more gigs... the army doesn't need any more gigs...has ther ebeena worse call for saftely clothing since murray send brett out wearing reflective suspenders?
my feeling is that
this is either overblown, and not a big deal (the reports of the camo
being ineffective are limited, and unproven)... or, this a kind of a
massive problem, and enough is not being made out of it... their can't
be a middle ground right? you are either blending in, or you're standing
out, right?
another scary/crazy quote came from an un-named
cavalry scout who said: “If we can see our own guys across a distance
because of it, then so can our enemy.”... how was this not IMMEDIATELY
noted when the uniforms were first issued in 2004?
the army said these reflective suspenders would keep us out of sight.
i can't quite
get a firm grasp on this story from this article, mainly because it
leaves out some pretty important info.... BBD, any way your associates at Starkwood can shed any light on this? any
additional insight on this would be massively appreciated... i find this
whole thing fascinating.... are the people quoted in this article
actually "in the know"... it sounds pretty legit.... but i find this to
be a massively huge story/problem - and i am not sure how its just
getting this minor level of attention... though it could be something
that IS getting a ton of attention internally, just not on a public
forum (which is highly plausible)... i mean, they have been wearing
these "targets" since 2004!?...
the main question i found myself asking is, why does it work for the marines? how did they not ask
about the marines research and development? was there any research and
development? there had to be a ton, right? (again, this is probably not
something the marines care to make public knowledge... but at least let
me know that)
i know BBD has first hand account about how
effective the marines camo is... how do they not go into the reasons why
its effective?...
its also possible my uniform obsession intersecting with the safely of soldiers had caused me to have a minor freak out.
Oates played in DC during the NHL's Ugly Jersey Era
WASHINGTON -- Adam Oates is the new head coach of the Washington Capitals. Oates leaves the New Jersey Devils after two seasons behind the bench as an assistant coach. He was also an assistant in Tampa Bay in 2009-10.The former star NHL center played in Washington from 1996 to 2002.
"We are very pleased to name Adam Oates as the new head coach of the Washington Capitals," Capitals general manager George McPhee said in a statement. "Adam was a highly intelligent player in the NHL for 19 seasons. He has been an assistant coach in our conference for the past three seasons and is prepared to lead our club as head coach."
Since its almost July talking hockey seems ludicrous so I'll keep this short. Few notes:
- Welcome back, Adam Oates. Okay then. Who else can we recycle from those late 90's Caps teams? Kolzig is already the goalie coach...what's Rick Tabaracci up to?
Nice to have you back, Adam. Leave this jersey at home.
- GM George McPhee (GMGM) has enough credibility with me that I'm rolling with him on this hire. At least he's decisive. He just confidently hires one coach after another (Boudreau then Hunter) with zero head coaching experience...and they work out. Boudreau got the Caps to perennial regular season champs (just could not figure out the playoffs) and Hunter came within a Ovie wrist shot off the pipe of going to the Conference Finals. Let's see what Oates can do.
- Oates is credited with bringing the Devils PP from worst to first. Hopefully he can work his magic with a Caps PP that was woefully incompetent all last season.
- Very interested to see what he can do with Backstrom and newly-signed C Mike Ribeiro.
happy anniversary (a few days late) to ray knight and eric davis... on 6/22/86 you two got into one of the more memorable brawls. davis did not particpate very long, as he was knocked out by a knight right hook 3 seconds into the fight.
only reason i am posting this is because i stumbled across this video of the kid playing the hell outta 3B after countless players were ejected (never bunt on mex)... its not the video of the fight...
how awesome is this?
... also in the game (but not the video) orosco and mcdowell alternating OF and RP duties in extra innings... (which apparently drove pete rose crazy, and he was arguing with the umps that this was against the rules.... i guess it was in the same chapter about betting on games, becuse he never found any rules against it....)
boy, that escalated quickly. nails, did you throw a trident?
mets won in 14 innings on a 3-run bomb by HoJo (who was playing SS)... one of the craziest games in a year full of crazy games... unfortunately i could not find footage of the fight. everytime something it written about it, you will always hear how ray knight ( former golden gloves boxer) just massacred eric davis (after davis slid hard into 3rd base).... the teamwork to make the dreamwork, indeed.
Does this look like a man who wants to discuss advertising?
Wikipedia has banned the Church of Scientology from editing any articles. It’s a punishment for repeated and deceptive editing of articles related to the controversial religion. The landmark ruling comes from the inner circle of a site that prides itself on being open and inclusive.
It seems as though 'ole Jimmy Wales made one of his patented appeals to the Church of Scientology to quit deceptively editing their Wiki page, was promptly ignored, and JW dropped the hammer on Tom Cruise and Company. Ha, I can see Jimmy W. freaking out in his office while reading the Scientology page. "Wiki is like a national park! Or a library! And these liars are corrupting it! They keep deleting "Battlefield Earth" off the page!"
Jimmy, don't be so glib.
The thing is, I'm not sure which group/cult is more batshit - the Scientologists or the people who run Wiki (apparently they have something called an "arbitration committee" that convenes to discuss...who freaking knows what?). They're both kooky organizations that beg for money and are run by individuals who seem completely delusional. Wiki with its insistence it will eventually become the center of human knowledge and inspire some kind of global enlightenment, and Scientology with, well, they do teach that life began when billions of people were brought to Earth from outer space and placed around volcanoes that had hydrogen bombs dropped inside of them. So there's that.
I find it hard to believe if Jimmy Wales and Cruise had sat down they couldn't have figured something out - in exchange for a yearly contribution to Wiki, Scientology can edit its Wiki page however they want. In the end, everybody wins. No more freaking appeals from JW begging for money, and the Scientologists can have free reign over their Wiki page (does anyone really care? No, right?). Alas, it seems like the Scientologists spit in the face of the Largest Encyclopedia in the World one too many times and now find themselves at the mercy of Jimmy Wales and his 150,000 volunteer army of editors...who will now accept any donations you have available.
named 'jango' AND a bounty hunter? has george lucas been notified?
This trailer hit the internet about a week ago, and it looks flippin awesome. i thought tarantino's last movie, inglorious basterds, was his best one since pulp fiction... so i am pretty fired up to see his take on what looks to be a shoot'em up western (or 'southern', i guess).
starring jaime foxx and hans landa... with leo dicaprio as the villain... very cool (from the ultra reliable wiki, tarantino wanted leo to play hans landa in 'basterds' , but a scheduling conflict prevented it... and thank god. leo probably woudl have been good - but chris walz, as his oscar can attest, completely crushed the role of hans landa - and now we can add him to the list of 'go -to's' in tarantino's actor stable. a huge win)
but after viewing the trailer, i think the foxx/walz teaming had serious potential to rank very high on the "ebony & ivory" tandem list. lets look at some of the other great ones, in no particular order:
say a prayer for duncan... wherever he is
Robin of Locksley & Azeem...
these guys stuck together through thick and thin...until azeem hucked his ali baba sword into crazy lady and paid off his life debt.
unrelated quote:
"you changed you name too latrine?"
"it used to be 'shithouse'"
"that's a good change."
i was always baffled by the pull chain door bell at terry's place
Terry Mann & Ray Kinsella.
one guy said his finger was a gun, the other guy got to go to heaven and write a book about it.. i think... what ever happened to terry mann?
you're not grumbling enough, nolte. grumble LOUDER!
Reggie Hammond & Jack Cates
one guy hates black people and the other hates rednecks.. together hilarity ensues, as well as bullet wounds....
"unprintable racial slur from nolte"
can you get me one of those seat cushions with a hole in the middle
Ellis Redding & Andy Dufrense
azeem goes to jail for killing the old lady, meets andy. azeem now goes by red, and is a man who can get things. he gets andy a mini pick ax, but not any bodyguards as andy gets repeatedly raped. he then meets up with andy in mexico to enjoy all the money andy stole from jail.
"dear red, thanks for not stepping in as the sisters ran train on me. here's a black rock and some cash... see you in mexico. your friend, andy"
cold! cold! cold!
Rocky Balboa & Apollo Creed
lets just move on
forrest, one day i'm gonna bbq up some shrimp in Noble's Holler
Forrest Gump & BubbaBlue
two guys meet in boot camp... one guy has an awesome idea. he dies, other guy steals idea and makes bazillions. pays off his guilt with a huge check to dead guys mom.
you run like hays, but you suck at hoops
Sidney Dean & Billy Hoyle
white guy has a gambling problem and can't jump... the other guy is black.... and also can't jump....
and rosie perez is involved....
Monty Brewster & Spike Nolan
black guy inherits 30 mil, white guy mooches off of him.... both guys stink at baseball.
Spike: I don't think it's racial you know, because I'm fat and white, and your skinny and black.... hey, i think thats boggs from shawshank?"
Boggs: "which one of you want to take what i'm gonna give you?"
Monty: "None of the above!!!"
justin long... not nearly as cool as this trio
John McClain & a series of increasingly angry black guys
one guy is white, and always getting into trouble... the other guy's black and helpin that crazy honkey out.
the bad guys in "vengence" must have known mcclains past, becuase when he had to wear that racial sign in the beginning, i was like "its not true! carl winslow is his buddy! and that white haired black guy too!"
sam jackson took the role to a whole nother level. they really shoudl have zeus return in the next die hard.
"that dolphin ring you bough was so gay, steve"
Steven Hiller & David Levinson
One guy loves to smoke stogies, the other guy loved to ride a bike and talk in staggered vocal patters... the aliens killed goldblums raspy voiced gay buddy, and will smiths crooner/pilot buddy.
together they fly to an alien ship and rickroll it into submission.
the sequel should have a super advance race of Na'avi attacking earth... i really want to root against them.
my shootin hand is like rick ankiels pitching hand
Sheriff Bart & The Waco Kid
white guy gets drunk, black guy 'whips this out'
taggert recruits boggs to do up an old number 6 on andy dufrense.
we've successfully made oranges part of the plot! you owe me $1
Billy Ray Valentine &Louis Winthorpe III
rich white guy and poor black guy trade places......
hilarity and a topless jaime lee curtis ensue.
they do stock market stuff with oranges.
white guy looks good, black guy feels good.
i think we know vince would definitely give a guy a foot massage.
Jules Winnfield & Vincent Vega
one guy is a car in the red, the other guy is a mushroom cloud layin muthafucka.
they kill people
one guy walks the earth, one guy makes pop tarts and get killed.
out of sequence filming makes them both be alive at the end.
Riggs & Murtaugh
some of the finest example of blackface and blackvoice.
that was exhausting... i am sure i forgot some... apologies to axl foley and billy rosewood... agent K and J.... and i'm sure a few more.
at any rate, i think django unchained is a can;t miss... unless george lucas somehow got his hands on it.
Knubs was not afraid to occasionally give some blood
Knuble was always one of my favorite Caps the past few years. Worked his ass off on the ice, was never afraid to do the dirty work, seemed to love mixing it up in the crease, and off the ice was also a quote machine who was regarded as the best interview on the team. He never pulled any punches whether he was critiquing himself or the Caps, and commanded the respect of the entire locker room. He was never afraid to air his frustration at the "finesse" system the Caps played prior to 2011-2012, and often was one of the only guys you could find around the net getting the "cheap" goals.
And he was an absolute warrior - I could not even fathom how many stitches that guy has had in his face over his career. He wasn't a big fighter - but when he did drop the gloves you could tell he was pretty pissed off about something and transformed into a total force of nature - and his opponent seemed to realize as he was getting pummeled, that he just did the equivalent of placing a firecracker in the mouth of a polar bear during the middle of hibernation.
He was also one of those athletes when you see in person they make you think, "Holy shit...that dude is freaking huge." Knuble is listed at 6'3 235, but in person he somehow looked 6'5 and about 250. I saw him at the annual "Caps Casino Night" (during that semi-controversial period of my life when I dated a girl exclusively for Caps tickets/access) and, outside of that mongloid caveman D.J. King, Knuble was the most physically intimidating player there (in my opinion). But he was the nicest and probably most well-spoken guy there as well. There was a silent auction and one of the prizes was to go on a wine-tasting in Virginia with Knuble and his wife - which sounds extremely gay - except Knuble seems like the type of guy who could drink more than a blue whale, play 2 hours of hockey, and then drink a case of Molson before he takes his skates off. I mean, I just always had the impression the guy is a drinking machine. I think that wine tasting would have been hilarious.
Anyway, Knubs will definitely be missed. And I really don't think I would've have posted anything at all except when I read this article Knubs dropped an impeccably well placed bomb right on Brett Favre's head (quick disclosure: I cannot stand Brett Favre..probably merits its own post at some point). It made my day; I liked Knuble before this article but this shot at Favre put him on my pedestal of favorite DC athletes. Awesome. Good luck, Mike.
“I’m very thankful for my three years here,” he said. “It was a lot of fun. I’ve got to believe there were some good moments. We had some good moments here. I just want to leave an impression. Hopefully I left a good impression of myself around here with people and friends and teammates. I hope that’s what I accomplished here....
“It was great to see the passion. We play in a sold-out building every night. People like our team, the city enjoys watching us play, great young players here. It’s an exciting place to play. I’ll always think highly of playing hockey here.” He joked that he wouldn’t be pulling a Brett Favre about retirement, that he wants to play as long as possible, so he’ll look for an opportunity wherever it comes.
Haven't posted something from the good 'ole DC Sports Bog in a while but I definitely got a huge laugh out of this...
"...then in the bottom of the 12th, Nats pitcher Ross Detwiler twice tried to bunt high pitches with men on second and third. “What is he DOING?” Hernandez asked after the first high strike. “What is he DOING? What a rockhead. Are you kidding me? That’s ball 3? Second and third and you’re BUNTING?” Then it happened again. “Ahahaha,” Hernandez said, more or less. “I don’t get this one bit. Davey’s just furious. Why doesn’t he have the third base coach come down and tell him, ‘you’re not bunting!’ This is ball 4! Oh my word!”
This was just spot on by Keith. I was watching this at bat and yelling at the tv.."What the F*CK is he DOING!!??" Just a super painful experience to watch Ross Detweiler in the batter's box. I do not understand how a major leaguer, pitcher or not, could look that clueless. Not only did Ross keep trying to bunt, he kept trying to bunt balls that were absolutely nowhere near the strike zone. Ramirez seemed just as likely to throw his next pitch into the stands than the strike zone...and still Ross was determined to bunt that ghost runner over to 2nd base. What a nightmare. Then again, with the way that game was going - errors everywhere, Jesus Flores deciding to not play catcher anymore - maybe Detweiler's bunting shenanigans just fit right in.
its not often one player is responsible for literally lifting up an entire fan base.... so when johan santana completed the first no hitter in mets history last night (with a big assist to mike baxter, and the temporary blindness of the 3B ump), it wasn't just the fact that there are three generations of fans witnessing the same thing for the first time ever, it also cut loose a burden for every mets fan who had to sit through the list of "teams without a no-hitter" EVERY time someone threw one... the talk of the 'nolan ryan curse' and the list of pitchers who threw no-hitters after leaving the mets...
now, any time a no-hitter is thrown i will think of johan and june 1st and mike baxter and david freese striking out to end it... so awesome.
and thats the crazy thing - no-hitters are nice. but they are not that special. (especially when compared to perfect games)... but this one IS special. it IS a huge deal. and its because of the 50 year history of this franchise where a no-hitter was the most elusive thing of all time.
and it matters that it was johan who did this. granted, 24 hours ago i would not have cared who threw a no hitter for the met. could have been hefner or schwinden... i just wanted one... but there is no denying that watching johan do this made it infinitely better. for whatever reason, when he got through the 8th inning (where he appeared to get a little wobbly) i thought he had it... i usually don't have a high level of confidence with the mets... but i thought he'd get through it*.
so this improbable season reaches a high point on June 1st.... what else can they do to surprise us? this team had been a pleasure to watch even before last night... and what else is there to do other that keep enjoying it.
Lets Go Mets Go.
*if freese walked, my confidence would have gone from about a 9 out of 10 to a 0 because yadier molina was on deck, and there is no doubt he would have broken up the no hitter....that guy f'n murders us... luckily johan had one nasty change up left to finish it off.
"I am not one for selective targeting but mass destruction" - "Alchemy" Savage
Law enforcement agencies raided the home of Celia Alchemy Savage Wednesday. Now the student is facing federal charges for the stash of weapons and illegal drugs she was keeping, according to documents filed in U.S. District Court in Gainesville. Savage allegedly told the FBI that her hobby is blowing up toilets in the woods. To do that, she made five to seven pipe bombs. "Manufacturing explosive devices and detonating them for recreation was her hobby," according to an ATF report.
Holy SHIT does Celia "Alchemy" Savage know how to have a good time (I'm not sure if her middle name is also a nickname, I'm assuming it is because it just fits so well...like she knows how to turn everything into a good time. Or at the very least an extremely dangerous/exciting time). Fucking cammo shorts, tank top, and holding (2) handcannons that look like they could punch a hole clean through the Great Wall of China. And on top of everything else, ""manufacturing explosive devices and detonating them for recreation [is her] hobby." I mean, this chick is intimidating the crap out of me.
I can only assume that's a cooler of frosties behind her. Savage? Goddamn right.
This chick is a freaking national treasure. What other country in the world can produce a woman like this?? Maybe Australia? The USA is awesome. I think we could send this girl into France simply armed with her portfolio of facebook pics and they would immediately surrender. Of course "Alchemy" Savage would probably just say "fuck you, no thanks" and leave because she didn't want to rule a country full of douchebags who can't hunt, kickbox, drive motorcycles, wrestle boa constrictors, jump out of airplanes, and aren't qualified experts with every weapon ever used in the "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare" series.
That she is able to do all of these things while also taking bong hits and smoking meth only adds to her legend. Probably the most amazing thing is the Federal team that conducted the raid all escaped still breathing oxygen. I'd giggi my pants if I walked into a house and saw this insane combination of guns, ammo, badass pictures, and drugs. I think it would occur to me I was in over my head and run like hell for the door.
I highly recommend checking out the story I linked to above; after reading the quotes from her dad this picture begins to make a little more sense. "Oh, she's a real good person," Tommy Savage said about his daughter Celia. "She likes to hunt and fish. She loves shooting. She goes sky diving. All kinds of stuff like that that you wouldn't really typically think of a young lady doing. "
Mr. Savage, with all due respect, I wouldn't expect freaking Green Berets and Navy SEALs to be doing half the batshit stuff your daugther does.
I hope the person on the other side of this peephole isn't Albanian
Liam Neeson returns as Bryan Mills, the retired CIA agent with a particular set of skills who stopped at nothing to save his daughter Kim from Albanian kidnappers. When the father of one of the kidnappers swears revenge and takes Bryan and his wife hostage during their family vacation in Istanbul, Bryan enlists Kim to help them escape, and uses the same advanced level of special forces tactics to get his family to safety and systematically take out the kidnappers one by one.
Two things here: I'm very excited to witness the return of Bryan Mills. I would probably put the first "Taken" in my top 20 movies from 2001-2010. It was awesome. I was looking at its Wiki page and was startled to find out it was rated PG-13. When a PG-13 movie has such good action I assumed it was "R", well, I consider that to be rather significant. The Bryan Mills Fighting Style was just a pleasure to watch (so much so I think its made the rewatchability factor of "Taken" skyrocket); it was like a combination of jujitsu and Old Man strength...and Liam Neeson pulled it off like a champ.
The second thing, and extremely alarming part of this article, is this: "Bryan enlists Kim to help them escape". This...could be a disaster. I loved "Taken" - I HATED Maggie Grace in "Taken". I remember not only being glad she got kidnapped, but I'm pretty sure I thought she deserved it and maybe she'd learn a lesson or two. Like always listen to what Bryan Mills tells you to do. Maybe hanging out with Albanian gangsters and Middle-Eastern terrorists is just what that spoiled brat needed. When I re-watch "Taken" now I actually enjoy when she's hiding under the bed and Bryan Mills very cooly and matter-of-factly lets her know..."And now they will take you." Kim: "NOOOO!!!!" Me: "Hahahaha!"
I can only hope the bad guys don't hesitate so much in "Taken 2". Do it!
So, yeah, the last thing in the world I needed in "Taken 2" was MORE Kim Mills. Ugghh. And if they try to make her into some type of girl power-action hero there's going to be steam coming out of my ears. I'll be going into this movie with my guard up.
