National Disgrace

nats fans newest mascot: mr. jinx!

I just read an article on grantland by Bill Barnwell. who claims to be a redsox fan who attended the nats/cards game 5.

lets just say reading this A) reinforced my belief the nats fans never had any concept of losing or the threat of losing, and B)reinforced my theory that as a whole nats fans woudl bounce back from a game 5 loss in record time.

both of which reinforced my satisfaction that the nats got bounced the way they did.

a few excerpts, followed by my thoughts:

"I figured that if the Nationals won, it was going to be a raucous night in D.C. And if they lost … well, I wasn't all that emotionally invested in the team, so it wouldn't be a big deal, right?"

this was the writers stance. but as the article played out, it seemed like everyone felt the same way.

" I was a total stranger who wasn't even wearing anything Nationals-related, but it felt like I was sitting in seats with people whom I'd been suffering alongside for 30 years."

yep, that sounds like nats fans.

"I started wondering whether I would get fired from Grantland if I changed allegiances and Simmons noticed."

ok, i can admit that the entire nats 2012 season is a blueprint for pulling in a legion of new fans.  likeable team, a nice stadium, a bevvy of thrilling wins.... there is really no problem with getting won over by a team like his.... my problem is, no one admits that it was this season that did it. everyone claims to have been fans for years.... only no one buys it. repeat. NO. ONE.

"After the Nationals bullpen recorded eight consecutive outs by way of the K at the end of Game 4, the crowd was bloodthirsty for strikeouts. With five strikeouts through the first four innings, Gonzalez — coincidentally, the starter whose arrival in town had made me fall for the Nats — was feeding the din."

ok, this confuses me... the starter whose arrival in town made me fall for the nats? i thought this guy was a sox fan who just parachuted in for a fun game 5 experience? the nats got gio gonzalez in the winter, right? is this guy literally convincing himself he's been a nats fan since december WHILE HE'S AT GAME FIVE!?!?!?!

"...after the bottom of the eighth <where the nats scored to go up 7-5>, this gentleman got up and announced that he was leaving. He said he had a race to run the following day and wanted to beat the crowds to the Metro ride home, and despite audible gasps and looks of sheer horror from the folks around him, he shook everyone's hand, got up, and walked up and out of our section."

ya see. this guy is the reason the nats deserved to lose. i know its not representative of the fanbase as a whole, but this NEVER happens to a team that has fans who have been rooting for the franchise for more than one season. repeat. NEVER. i don't care if you pick the biggest front runner mets fan who's ever lived. he does not walk out of a series clinching game in the 9th inning. no matter what.

"There were five different two-strike pitches in the ninth inning, in which the Nationals had a chance to finish the game with a victory. I don't need a game story or a box score to know that; I know it because I took a photo of every single one of them with my iPhone as they happened, as did a fair number of the people around me. "

once again we have a guy who dropped in to see the exciting game 5, who has convinced himself hes a nats fan, and guess waht - a ton of other "fans" are behaving the same way, trying to take a photo of the last strike!.... i'm starting to think the reasons for the nats losing can be placed squarley on the fans, who seems to have violated every single jinx rule in this entire baseball spectator handbook. they all got what the deserved. i think the only person i even feel slightly bad for is ryan zimmerman (who i also think is the only person who can claim he's been a nats fan since 2005)

"It was as if everybody looked at the scoreboard and saw who was coming up for the Nationals. Werth. Harper. Zimmerman. 7-7? No big deal; we were probably just meant to win it in the ninth anyway. I started envisioning how much fun it would be to see Harper connect with a Motte fastball and make his way around the bases before the ball landed."

they'll never think this again. they might hope it happens. but to think it'll become a reality? kiss those feeling goodbye.


"When <the nats pitcher> struck out jason motte to mercifully end the <top of the 9th> inning, the entertainment guy at the stadium threw out a "Strikeout!" graphic and played Blur's "Song 2" over it. It felt like a bit they'd cued up for the game-ending, series-winning strikeout that somehow accidentally got played after a four-run disaster of an inning. "

this is hilarious. just hilarious. hey, even the sound guy is new to this playoff thing. i really wish i noticed this when it happened during the game.  the opposing pitcher getting fanned to end the inning that probably ended the nats season... WOOO-HOOOO!!!

"After the loss, I expected a fatalistic, despondent crowd to mutter all the way to the Metro. I was wrong. Everybody I was around was in disbelief, but they were actually pretty serene and bemused about everything that went down. People were upset about the loss, but in that "Aw, it would have been fun to party tonight and have more playoff baseball!" way, not the "Our lives are collectively ruined until March" way."
so maybe these fans need another harsh lesson in 2013. if you're shaking off a loss this fast, your soul needs to be crushed again.



"The one Nats fan in our group was more despondent than most, and we led him over to the jukebox to play some appropriate music. Most of his selections didn't last long. "Everybody Hurts" was cut off by the bartender after a minute. "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart" faded out somewhere around 90 seconds. What did make through, though, was the Johnny Cash cover of "Hurt." By the time the chorus rolled around, in fact, the half of the bar that was adorned in Nats attire had joined in and turned it into a sardonic, wistful sing-along."

ummm..."the most despondent" nats fan was playing music at a bar... REM's "everybody hurts"... i am sorry. you are not despondent if you are playing songs like this (which is basically mocking yourself) after that kind of a loss... this clown then plays johnny cash's "hurt" and the nats fans SING ALONG!!!!....

goodness gracious, these guys have a ways to go.  if you want a checklist on how not to act during a huge game, and after a huge loss, the nats fans provided a pretty perfect checklist right here.

Its only 1 game blah blah I don't care that was awesome

Probably one of the only times being passed out on the Metro floor is mildly acceptable

A lot of people in DC are doing the entire "don't overreact, its only 1 game" routine and my question to them is:  if we can't overreact now, then when the hell can we overreact??  The guy the Redskins just mortgaged their next 3-5 years on just posted the best QB performance of Week 1 and took a huge deuce all over the Superdome.  Its one of the only times, as a Redskins fan, I could think an appropriate reaction by another Redskins fan would be to get so drunk you pass out on the nasty, foul, germ-infested floor of the DC Metro. 

It was probably the best QB performance by someone wearing a Skins jersey since the early 90's.  You're goddamn right I'm overreacting.  Hail!!

Defense Department Creates Olympian caliber running robot

A robot created by the Department of Defense can now run faster than Olympic gold medalist Usain Bolt.  The Cheetah robot – developed by the Defense Advanced Research Project Agency (DARPA) – broke its own land speed record of 18 mph Wednesday by going 28.3 mph in a 20-meter split.

DARPA states on its website that it hopes to use the Cheetah robot in emergency responses, humanitarian missions and other defense missions.

The Cheetah robot is the latest in a series of advancements - drones, self-thinking robots, etc - that is bringing mankind closer and closer to the inevitable "Judgement Day", when the machines become self aware and begin a planet-wide war against human civilization.  J&N was able to sit down with the technical lead of the Cheetah project, Dr. Alfred Rizzi, as well as several other subject matter experts who have had considerable experience with aggressive robots/machines in the field to discuss the matter.

Sarah Connor did not react well when she found out about the Cheetah

Dr. Alfred Rizzi:  Our real goal is to create a robot that moves freely outdoors while it runs fast.  We are building an outdoor version that we call WildCat, that should be ready for testing early next year.

Morpheus: Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive.

Sarah Connor: How are you supposed to know? Fucking men like you built the hydrogen bomb. Men like you thought it up. You think you're so creative. You don't know what it's like to really create something; to create a life; to feel it growing inside you. All you know how to create is death...

The Terminator: Why do you cry?
Dr. Alfred Rizzi:  What DARPA is doing with its robotics programs is attempting to understand and engineer into robots certain core capabilities that living organisms have refined over millennia of evolution: efficient locomotion, manipulation of objects and adaptability to environments.
Morpheus: What is "real"? How do you define "real"?

Sarah Connor: It's gonna feel pretty fucking real to you too. Anybody not wearing 2 million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day. Get it? 

Morpheus: Do you believe that my being stronger or faster has anything to do with my muscles in this place?
The Terminator: It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.



Does the Cheetah know kung fu?



Morpheus: Free your mind.
Dr. Alfred Rizzi:  Our Cheetah bot borrows ideas from nature’s design to inform stride patterns, flexing and unflexing of parts like the back, placement of limbs and stability.

The Terminator: The more contact I have with humans, the more I learn.
John Connor: [holds up robot arm] Will this melt in the lava?
Dr. Alfred Rizzi:  What we gain through Cheetah and related research efforts are technological building blocks that create possibilities for a whole range of robots suited to future Department of Defense missions.”

Morpheus: I imagine that right now, you're feeling a bit like Alice. Hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?

The Terminator: I need a vacation.
Great talk, everyone.

"Our School is Awesome" motto sweeping DC

Striped shirt guy:  "What the hell is Po-Po?? "

Schoolkids are back in classes this morning at D.C. public and charter schools. To get everyone in that back-to-school mood, here’s the students of Fairlawn’s Benjamin Orr Elementary telling us just how awesome their school is.
“Our School is Awesome” is a collaboration between local video production outfit Sun Chase Media and Orr administrators and students, who showed up in uniform on Saturdays to shoot the film earlier this year, said Principal Michelle Edwards. Also awesome: The shirt Police Chief Cathy Lanier was rocking while participating in Beautification Day festivities Saturday.

Yeah, they can talk all they want about "positive messaging" and "building confidence" and shooting cool videos but the smart students will recognize this for exactly what it is:  blatant brainwashing.  When November rolls around and its freezing, and you can't go outside anymore, and you'd rather suffocate yourself with your pillow case then go to school...that's when the school administration rolls out the "Our School is Awesome" video.  "See!!  See??? Remember this everyone?  Our school is awesome!!"  There IS one way to throw this entire campaign off track...



This inflamatory t-shirt once brought Springfield Elementary to its knees 

 I think every time I started a new school year with my new notebooks, clean desk, pens and pencils all lined up neatly I really thought "this is it, this is the year, I'm going to turn my academic career right around yessir!".  And this wasn't limited to grade school, I remember telling myself this straight through high school.  A new year is a fresh start, new teachers who don't know your tricks and excuses - its a clean slate is what it is.  Naturally, within 2 days I remembered "Oh right...I hate this goddamn place" and reverted to cutting every single academic corner I possibly could. 

Pretty sure that's the direction Benjamin Orr Elementary is going..."Our School is Awesome!" will be a distant memory by Columbus Day.

Skinner: So: we meet again, Mad Magazine.
   Bart: How do you know it's from Mad?
Skinner: [walking to his window] The year was 1968.  We were on recon in
         a steaming Mekong delta.  An overheated private removed his
         flak jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an iron-on sporting the
         Mad slogan "Up With Mini-Skirts".
         Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite
         understand it.  But our momentary lapse of concentration
         allowed Charlie to get the drop on us.
         I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist
         on a thin stew of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and
         four kinds of rice.  I came close to madness trying to find it
         here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right --
   Bart: Uh, my punishment?
Skinner: Hmm?  Oh, I'm going to have to think about that.  Meanwhile,
         wear this home.
          [puts a seat pillow over Bart's torso and zips it up]

Tony Scott was trying to remake "The Warriors"!!??

Starring Tom Cruise as Swan?  Denzel as Cochise?

From Grantland:  Scott had talked for years about his plans for a Los Angeles–set remake of Walter Hill's 1979 pulp classic The Warriors, and about restaging the movie's opening set piece — the assassination of Gramercy Riffs leader Cyrus at a citywide gang summit — on the Vincent Thomas. "[Y]ou have a thousand gang members up there, then Cyrus goes bang," he told Cinema Blend in 2009. "It's almost like 9/11, bodies coming off, it just goes ballistic."

Man, does this story keep getting worse.  Now I find out the "The Warriors" reboot has also jumped off a bridge.  This is crushing.  If you were to ask me which movie do I want rebooted more than anything I would immediately reply, "Jeremiah Johnson".  But my second choice would be "The Warriors".  I hope there is a team of detectives ransacking Scott's office looking for this script.

I'm also totally baffled as to why he chose to jump off the same bridge that he envisioned Cyrus getting assassinated on...was this a stunt gone horribly wrong?  Can you dig it?  CAN...YOU....DIIIIGGG IT???

Tony Scott (RIP) felt need for speed, does a 4G negative dive off San Pedro bridge

"Top Gun" director Tony Scott jumped to his death from the Vincent Thomas Bridge in San Pedro on Sunday afternoon. He was 68.  His body was pulled out of the water by Los Angeles Port Police, who were the first on the scene.  Several witnesses told police they saw Scott get out of his Toyota Prius, which was parked on the bridge, about 12:30 p.m. Then he scaled an 8- to 10-foot fence and jumped off without any hesitation, law enforcement sources said.

Pete Mitchell is not taking the news well

Yeesh, RIP Tony Scott.  I guess when your life revolves around making phenomenal action movies one after the other, and then you get diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer and decide its time to move on...you simply locate the nearest bridge, park your car, crank up "Danger Zone" in your headphones, and make the (probably inverted?) leap.  Gutsiest move I ever saw, Mav.

I wonder if he radioed the tower and requested permission for the fly-by before he jumped?

*I don't know if you can determine which Tony Scott movie was the best, but what was the worst?  It has to be either The Fan or Domino, right?  They were both dreadful.

Nats Facebook page hacked

Well, it was fun while it lasted.  Maybe the Skins can move into Nats Park?


Hmm...I guess its time for DC to change its MLB relationship status back to "single".  Cobb, the DC trip on August 18th has been moved to Canada.  See you there.



"What a crazy room.  There's no Albuquerque Isotopes.  It's the Springfield [realizes] Oh."



This badminton scandal has to be the biggest upset in Olympic history

Olympic officials demanded a deeper investigation into the badminton fixing scandal Thursday as China's coach took the blame for a match being thrown at the London Games and a player appeared to quit the tarnished sport.

Defending Olympic champion Yu Yang of China went further by apparently announcing her retirement from badminton.  "This is my last game," read a posting on a verified account for Yu on the Tencent microblogging service. "Farewell Badminton World Federation. Farewell my dear badminton."

"I think firstly we should apologize to the Chinese audience, because we did not demonstrate the Olympic spirit. ... We did not give the audience a game that fully demonstrated our skills," she said. "And it really resulted in a lot of negative influence."..."We didn't take each competition seriously and follow the Olympic spirit of 'higher, faster and stronger' as professional athletes," Li added on Chinese television....

"We did not fully understand the significance of it," Li said. "As the head coach, I think I should, since the Badminton World Federation has already made the decision, apologize to the Chinese fans and audience, because, in fact, we didn't fully demonstrate the fighting spirit of the Chinese badminton team."

How out of control has this badminton scandal become?  Four teams dismissed, the internet is blowing up, the best player in the world just quit her "dear badminton" - and I'm loving every minute of it.  And now after reading this article my sympathies are somehow swinging BACK towards China.  Frankly, I don't know what to make of this article...is China just mocking everyone with their talk of the "Olympic spirit" and "taking each competition seriously"?  I thought we had reached a point where everyone had just accepted that China cheats in every event, and the real fun was trying to catch them at it?  I didn't even think they were aware of the "Olympic spirit"...or they thought "higher, faster, stronger" literally meant they had permission to make Chinese Ivan Dragos in a factory in Beijing.

The next Chinese Olympic model will have a "cheat code" option added

But with the quotes from this article...to quote Mac from "Its Always Sunny"...are we being patronized?  I feel like I'm being patronized.  My impression is that China has been mass producing teenage cyborgs to take over the Summer Games, and they've been pretty damn successful at it.  They have completely taken the title from the Russians as America's #1 enemy in international sporting competitions, and for me anyways the presence of a clearly identifiable villain has made the Olympics extremely relevant again.

In regard to the actual scandal, I think the real uproar is not that China tanked...its that they did such a shitty job at it.  I cannot think of a more pathetic display of cheating.  How could the usually quick-witted Chinese not come up with a more creative scenario?  Was their a glitch in their AI programming that could not compute "throw this match"?  Did they need to be punched in the back of the neck like in "Terminator: Salvation" to reset the microchip embedded beneath the skin?

I feel like heads are going to roll (literally, they will be chopped off) when the badminton team returns to China...Yu Yang may have been SAYING farewell to her dear badminton, but if you read between the lines I'm pretty sure she meant "I'm dead, my family's dead...my dear badminton ruined my life".

'The Hobbit' expanded into three films... how is this a bad thing?

how can we turn a kids book into a massive, sprawling, epic trilogy? easy, with JRR Tolkien's rambling appendices!

saw on yahoo news that peter jackson is expanding "the hobbit" into a third film (previously only supposed to be two films)

and as usual, these total whackos come out of the woodwork bashing the "greed of hollywood"... which is probably true. they will make a lot more money with three films... but i can't see how anyone in "the hobbit"s target audience is not super excited about this.  i think the only half-fair criticize might be in the name of the movie... how much if this is treally from the book 'the hobbit' (no, i dont really care).

can't wait to watch this bastard "burgal" some dragon treasure

jackson has said that (and there is no arguing this) that there is simply limitless amount of source material to draw from. this is not like he is just making up what he wants to fill out three films.... i still have no idea how this will play out... i am guessing he is going to stretch the story of the hobbit over three films, and fill in the three films with the ongoing activity in the other part of middle earth.... how is this a bad thing?  if i had to pick a preference, i might rather him focus one whole film on the hobbit... and then two others on middle earth.... but in the end, we're probably getting 8 to 10 hours of more middle earth on film...

aka, a tolkien-nerd's wet dream...
( and thats not even counting possible extended editions, and bonus footage).

i am pretty fired up its a trilogy (yeah, trilogies are overdone these days, but whatever. if its three good movies, its better than good movies)

Blind South Korean dominating Olympic archery

"Me rikey rinning Orympic medals"

Legally blind South Korean archer Im Dong-hyun set the first world records of the London Olympics, breaking his own record in the 72-arrow mark and participating in the team shoot record during Friday's ranking round. 

Im, 26, won gold medals in the team event in both the Beijing and Athens Olympics. He has only 10 percent vision in his left eye, and 20 percent in his right, meaning he is considered legally blind.  He has said that when he looks at the targets, he sees colors with blurred lines between them. He does not wear glasses in competition, saying he he relies on being able to distinguish between the bright colors of the target.

Where to begin with this story?  First of all, the rest of the archery competitors should feel embarrassed as hell.  Not only is this guy legally blind, but he has the slanty Asian eyes to boot.  Its a double handicap for crying out loud.  Secondly, can this guy double dip and also compete in the Special Olympics?  If so, why haven't I been placing bets on him?  I have to imagine he's universally hated in the international archery inner circle.  Olympians probably hate facing him..."Oh shit.  That blind Asian is going to humiliate me again..."  And Special Olympians probably just flat out hate him..."Goddammit.  That bullshit legally blind Asian entered the contest again??"  Its gotta be a lonely existence for Dong-hyun...well, unless you count the shit ton of gold medals he's probably won over the course of his career. 

I think the larger point is how ridiculous the archery competition has become.  On paper it seems like this would be entertaining to watch.  But the reality is I'd rather watch the insanity of speed-walking.  The compound bows have gotten so advanced it looks like these guys are pulling the trigger on a weapon they borrowed from Chewbacca, the announcers use terminology that sounds completely foreign, and I have no damn clue how the scoring is done. 

"Steady Milly...ready...aim..."

I mean, holy crap, a freaking blind guy is dominating the competition - how difficult can this be??  It would be like if someone with no arms started racking up wins in swimming.  I would think the sport of Archery requires the contestants to have Legolas-like vision...but apparently Milhouse Van Houten could show up sans glasses and do pretty well.  At what point does Archery have to take a look in the mirror and think just maybe the sport has gotten completely out of control?  Is this not a total black eye? 

Wouldn't it be better if the sport regressed to pre-Industrial Age technological limits?  It would have to be more entertaining, and it would certainly make it impossible for blind Asians using fancy compound bows to humiliate the crap out of everyone.

Fake Encore! It's a Fake Encore, Right?

actually we never even asked for an encore.

Saw the Gaslight Anthem last night at webster hall.... they rock. like really kick ass at their shows. just an awesome performance.  i only had one complaint. the fake encore.

this is not their fault. fake encores are an epidemic, and they are pointless.... and frankly, a little insulting.

last night show featured the band walking off the stage saying "goodnight" to the crowd after playing for a little over an hour.  people are conditioned to expect a fake encore... and the gaslight obliged. they came out and played for almost another hour.

what an encore!!!

i mean, come on... why even do that? they basically played two sets. thats awesome. call it that. why (half-heartedly)  fake like you are done, when you fully plan on playing another hour? i don't get it. fans aren't faked out.... if they were, they would probably riot since playing an hour would really tick the majority of the crowd off.

the term encore is defined as: "a demand, as by applause, for a repetition of a song, act, etc.,"

most bands save their fake encore for a final one or two songs... some even have a fake 'double' encore.... these were songs they had intended to play all along... as a concert goer, i would much rather have them just play straight through. i can handle not knowing when the show will end.

is it an ego boost thing? i mean, i guess bands like to feel like they are being called back on stage... even if they're not, really.


i have no idea what the thought process is.... i've never been in a band (unless you count the four squeezers, but we were way ahead of the accapella craze by about 20 years and were never given a fair shake).... i bet they started off as "if they call us out for an encore, what song should we play?" type of discussion before the show... then became "when they call us out, we're gonna play these two songs"... and now its "we just gonna do second mini-set"


again, thats fine. i guess my problem is with the "goodnight" or any language the band throws out there, trying to play it off like they are done.... 


but if i had the choice, i'd rather just hear all the songs you planned on playing, with out a drawn out farce. if you need to take a few breaks throughout the show, go for it. 

lonesome billy always tells it like it it.

the only band i know of that does not do this is buffalo tom (and that's in large part because the venues they play these days don't have a 'back stage' for them to retire to)... but when they get to the end of the show, bill janovitz always jokingly says "and we're gonna go right into the encore"

i appreciate the honesty bill.

just don't tell him he reminds you of boggs from shawshank

i also saw roger clyne and the peacemakers at bb kings about a month ago... they did the fake encore thing.... and they were done... off the stage, show was over... but the crowd was going bonkers... they wanted an encore... and they got back on stage and played another. you could tell it was authentic, becuase they literally were debating on what song to play.... it was very cool. probably the only non-alta mira related 'real' encore i've ever seen (PC tangent - alta mira's 1999 performace at that party featuring hank the angry dwarf was one of the best shows ever... plus their encore involved them actually playing 'ophelia' for the second time. never even heard of anyone doing that)

good show, hank!

actually, now that i think about it, i am just as much as a fraud on this. because even after buffalo tom's 'honest non-encore' i'm still screaming like an idiot for 'one more song'... the same way i wanted the peacemakers to play after their fake encore.... actually thats probably why they do it in the first place... just to shut up drunken fans... writing this may have been a waste of time.... not encore worthy at all.

and the gaslight seriously kicks ass. can't wait to see 'em again. fake encore and all.

2012 Mets: "Comeback-Breaking"

this garbage could pile up fast

The 2012 season sure seems like its gone up in smoke these last 2 weeks.  From Gee's blood clot scare, to johan going back on the DL... its been a brutal stretch.

But the fact is, even though I was enjoying the hell out of the 2012 season, and i loved the fact the Mets were hanging around, i never really felt like this season was going to wind up in the playoffs.

I did feel, however, that this season was shaping up as a fantastic spring board for this roster, going into 2013 and beyond.  So when things like injuries and errors and even a historically bad bullpen start to explode all at once - I am not totally surprised. This is a far from complete team.

But what i had not counted on is the possible negative baggage these players might be gaining.... especially when it comes to the washington nationals.

In  my opinion, one of the reasons this years team seemed so fearless is because, for the most part, this roster was not scarred by the brutal finished in 2007 and 2008. They have no experience being continuously, and emotionally destroyed by the phillies or braves (and to a lesser extent the marlins).... And as a result, they played pretty loose - and had the ability to bounce back from bad losses because "hey, its just one loss!".... but the last 2 weeks have seem some unconscionably brutal losses... especially to the Nats.    And when you look back at the whole season so far, they seem to have lost to the Nats in pretty much any way possibly. each one more painful then the next. Mickey Pipes emailed me referring to these losses as "comeback-breaking".... which is pretty much the perfect way to describe them.... After enough of these kinds of defeats, it has to start to weigh on a team. We've seen it before.

The mother of all these 'comeback-breaking' losses was the game where Valdespin cracked the 3-run dinger off Clippard to give the mets the lead in the 9th... two blown saves later, and i think that game will be looked back on as where it really started to unravel. As they went to the 9th in that game, even with our uber-shaky bullpen, i thought to myself, "this is the mets fighting out of yet another losing funk." They had been doing it all year. every time you thought they might fall off a cliff, they pulled out a magical win, or went on a winning streak.... and even though i was afraid they might blow that lead - i also thought 'this is where they pull the season back from the brink yet again"

as we now know - they didn't do that....they lost in awful fashion... and in my mind, i felt like they had their season broken at that moment. (though i didn't think it would be such a quick decent to sub-.500... i just thought, 'we really are not going to be a playoff threat from here on out').

Despite the nonsense from the NY media that "new york fans will not tolerate rebuilding" - When the season started i think most fans were ok with the idea this was a transitional season for the team though it was probably combined with contempt for the ownership).

fastforward to late july, and now i am concerned there is a chance this roster might begin to view the nats the way it seemed the teams of past years viewed the phillies and braves... when it came down to a close and late situation... it doesn't matter, they're gonna beat us.

The reality is i am probably projecting a ton of my own fears onto the roster. i know the braves and phillies sure had me mentally defeated.... it figures the nats are the team that seems to be evolving into the NL Easts perennial power... i mean why not, up until this season they were the only ones who had never tormented the mets before... and in less than one season i've gone from being essentially indifferent about the washington baseball team to pretty  much despising them, their fans and the fact they netted two franchise players with back to back #1 picks.... What annoys me more is that after winning the 2006 division, and leading almost all of 2007, i thought the Mets were going to become the perennial favorite to win the NL east.   The Nats have a little of that 2006 Mets feel.... i can only hope they self combust like the mets did in 07 and 08.

And like other irrational mets fans, there are a lot of times i feel like i jinxed the team as well. there is small stuff like, "i was sitting in this chair when they scored in the 7th, so i will sit there again"... and also some bigger stuff i think i jinx (did i mention this is irrational?).  Back in 2007 the met hat i wore all the time was just super gross, so i bought a new one.... this was right before their epic collapse... and i just bought a new mets hat this year at the all-star break... and just like that, they fall apart again.... i also have a deep rooted jinx history when it comes to drawing a met... they almost always become total bombs after i finish the drawing (granted i've picked some doozies) . ones that jump out are the defensive dynamo pat howell, who i drew after he made about a dozen unreal catches during the 1992 season...i think he was out of baseball a month later.... right around that same time i was convinced that the mets new temporary closer, who was succeeding while john franco was on the DL, was going to be a star.... so i sketched out a drawing of anthony young... yup...he definitely became famous.

the reason i bring this up is i just finished this design before the all-star break... so you can blame me if it gets real bad for RA in the second half of this season.

sorry RA...

Does Cinnamon Toast Crunch Promote Cannabalism?

with all the recent news of face eating and zombie/cannibalistic behavior in the news, i think its time to point the finger at the real culprit of this trend. its not 'the walking dead', its cinnamon toast crunch with their sadistic/cannibal commercials.

am i the only one creeped out by these? a new one seems to pop up every month, and it always involved one or two CTC squares eating other squares...

 what ever happened to the three old chefs, luring kids into their bakery? that was much less creepy, and that was REALLY creepy.

after breakfast, lets hit the showers, kids!

i think they eventually killed off two of the chefs, and stuck with the oldest, sanduskiest of the trio as the main mascot...

and now they've moved onto cannibalism.

if anything, its a testament to how tasty the cereal is.  its managed to remain a popular cereal with such disastrous marketing efforts....maybe they like the challenge... who knows....

you know what, to hell with it... they probably are trying to look as creepy as possible. any time i see a commercial i am going to watch it to see what new ways they can have these CTC squares murder each other... they even have one where a sqaure eats himself... so its also into suicide... just fascinating, delicious, and totally f'd up stuff.   they really should just go all out with a zombie-like commercial with a bunch of squares chasing down one or two squares - then then turning on each other in total mayhem.  why not.... though now i am hungry for some human flesh...

I really wish I had attended this Fred Davis legal hearing

I can't add a whole lot to this story.  But if Fred Davis ever goes before a judge again I'm leaving work immediately to cover the story for J&N.  This is priceless.  I didn't think stuff like this happened outside of courtrooms not featuring Judge Reinhold.  From the invaluable DC Sports Bog:

Davis would be a perfect fit for "Mock Trial with J. Reinhold"

Fred Davis is involved in a lawsuit of the most ridiculous kind. Davis and a woman named Makini R. Chaka are in a legal battle that includes restraining orders, possible escorts and accusations of juice throwing.
And Davis is representing himself in the case, which means the court transcripts are full of gems like this from the Washingtonian’s write up:

“It’s just all made up and flagellant,” Davis told the judge during his closing argument. (Davis has no formal legal training, according to Jean Kuei, Davis’s former attorney.)

The whole thing is complicated and among the stupidest of stupid football player dramas. Here are a few highlights lowlights.
* Chaka calls herself a “celebrity broker.” Davis’s sometime body guard, Stewart Prince, says she’s a pimp who often carries a “pimp cup.”
* Davis and Prince claim Chaka is violent. “[Davis] began to distance himself from Chaka after she got into violent altercations with other women. Prince claimed in court documents that Chaka once fought a female stripper at Stadium Club in DC. More recently, Prince said, Chaka threw bottles at a woman at Mirage Night Club in Baltimore.”
* Davis says Chaka is trying to extort money from him. Chaka claims the fact she works with Willis McGahee proves she’s not. “[McGahee] makes over 40 million dollars . . . yet you’re saying that I want to get Mr. Davis for money and he’s a second-round draft pick, and his, he doesn’t even gross anywhere close to Willis.”
* Chaka is also representing herself, which leads to exchanges like this:

Davis: “As it shows, you also have your hand on his genitals. I mean why would you take a picture like that?”

Chaka: “I do not. Let’s look closely at the exhibit right here, Judge. Where is my hand placed in this exhibit?”

Judge: “I do not answer questions. . . . The witness does.”

Chaka: “Can you tell me where my hand is actually at in this photo?”

Davis: “It looks like it’s in the genitals to me. I mean your hands are on his genitals. Your hand is on his—”

Chaka: “Objection.”

It was whispered that Davis was moments away from calling surprise witness Franklin to the stand



Army Sacrifices Saftey to "Look Cool"

president camacho's first order of business would obviously be making sure the army had enough brawndo (its got electrolytes)... second order woudl be making sure the army had snazzy uniforms, possibly with the brawndo logo.

 I am thoroughly confused/mesmerized by this story. I found the link to in on the ticker over at Uni-Watch... where it was noted as being "branding run amok"... but this seems like a much bigger issue...

as the article states, in 2004, the army changed their camouflage design to something closer to the marines "digital" camouflage look.

i remember Billy Bob saying at the time, "they are just copying the marines"... now, i figured that was true, only because they simply wanted the most effective camo for their soldiers. (aka, they would be stupid not to use it, right?)

ok, army meeting. you guys need some new, cool, uniforms.

well if this article is accurate at all, the army simply just copied the style of "digital" pattern, but did little to no research on the colors to use, resulting in a camo that was essentially giant mapquest arrows pointing out all of their soldiers, while in the field.

the most damning quote came from the editor of "Soldier Systems Daily" ( i'm assuming this is a highly regarded magazine in military circles) who said “Brand identity trumped camouflage utility. That’s what this really comes down to: ‘We can’t allow the Marine Corps to look more cool than the Army.’ ”

if true, that is just a debacle, and really just takes the insanity of over-branding to a whole new level... it something south park woudl put in one of their shows to spoof how bad global branding has become... the military essentially slapping logos onto uniforms, to increase brand awareness, even though it might get you killed... how is this real?


its one thing to have your band manager suggest you put a bit of hay in your mouth to look cool... or buying some leather suits to snug up on you in the rain... but thats only a problem if you trying to get more gigs... the army doesn't need any more gigs...has ther ebeena worse call for saftely clothing since murray send brett out wearing reflective suspenders?

my feeling is that this is either overblown, and not a big deal (the reports of the camo being ineffective are limited, and unproven)... or, this a kind of a massive problem, and enough is not being made out of it... their can't be a middle ground right? you are either blending in, or you're standing out, right?

another scary/crazy quote came from an un-named cavalry scout who said: “If we can see our own guys across a distance because of it, then so can our enemy.”... how was this not IMMEDIATELY noted when the uniforms were first issued in 2004?

the army said these reflective suspenders would  keep us out of sight.

i can't quite get a firm grasp on this story from this article, mainly because it leaves out some pretty important info.... BBD, any way your associates at Starkwood can shed any light on this? any additional insight on this would be massively appreciated... i find this whole thing fascinating.... are the people quoted in this article actually "in the know"... it sounds pretty legit.... but i find this to be a massively huge story/problem - and i am not sure how its just getting this minor level of attention...   though it could be something that IS getting a ton of attention internally, just not on a public forum (which is highly plausible)... i mean, they have been wearing these "targets" since 2004!?...

the main question i found myself asking is, why does it work for the marines? how did they not ask about the marines research and development? was there any research and development? there had to be a ton, right? (again, this is probably not something the marines care to make public knowledge... but at least let me know that)

i know BBD has first hand account about how effective the marines camo is... how do they not go into the reasons why its effective?...

its also possible my uniform obsession intersecting with the safely of soldiers had caused me to have a minor freak out.

Caps hire Adam Oates as coach

Oates played in DC during the NHL's Ugly Jersey Era

 WASHINGTON -- Adam Oates is the new head coach of the Washington Capitals.  Oates leaves the New Jersey Devils after two seasons behind the bench as an assistant coach.  He was also an assistant in Tampa Bay in 2009-10.The former star NHL center played in Washington from 1996 to 2002.

"We are very pleased to name Adam Oates as the new head coach of the Washington Capitals," Capitals general manager George McPhee said in a statement. "Adam was a highly intelligent player in the NHL for 19 seasons. He has been an assistant coach in our conference for the past three seasons and is prepared to lead our club as head coach."

Since its almost July talking hockey seems ludicrous so I'll keep this short.  Few notes:

-  Welcome back, Adam Oates.  Okay then.  Who else can we recycle from those late 90's Caps teams?  Kolzig is already the goalie coach...what's Rick Tabaracci up to?



Nice to have you back, Adam.  Leave this jersey at home.

 -  GM George McPhee (GMGM) has enough credibility with me that I'm rolling with him on this hire.  At least he's decisive.  He just confidently hires one coach after another (Boudreau then Hunter) with zero head coaching experience...and they work out.  Boudreau got the Caps to perennial regular season champs (just could not figure out the playoffs) and Hunter came within a Ovie wrist shot off the pipe of going to the Conference Finals.  Let's see what Oates can do.     

-  Oates is credited with bringing the Devils PP from worst to first.  Hopefully he can work his magic with a Caps PP that was woefully incompetent all last season.

-  Very interested to see what he can do with Backstrom and newly-signed C Mike Ribeiro.      

Happy Knight/Davis Brawl Anniversary (6/22/86)

come out and get your whoopin, eric

happy anniversary (a few days late) to ray knight and eric davis... on 6/22/86 you two got into one of the more memorable brawls. davis did not particpate very long, as he was knocked out by a knight right hook 3 seconds into the fight.

only reason i am posting this is because i stumbled across this video of the kid playing the hell outta 3B after countless players were ejected (never bunt on mex)... its not the video of the fight...

how awesome is this?

... also in the game (but not the video) orosco and mcdowell alternating OF and RP duties in extra innings... (which apparently drove pete rose crazy, and he was arguing with the umps that this was against the rules.... i guess it was in the same chapter about betting on games, becuse he never found any rules against it....)

boy, that escalated quickly. nails, did you throw a trident?

mets won in 14 innings on a 3-run bomb by HoJo (who was playing SS)... one of the craziest games in a year full of crazy games... unfortunately i could not find footage of the fight. everytime something it written about it, you will always hear how ray knight ( former golden gloves boxer) just massacred eric davis (after davis slid hard into 3rd base).... the teamwork to make the dreamwork, indeed.

Jimmy Wales lowers the boom on Scientology



Does this look like a man who wants to discuss advertising?



Wikipedia has banned the Church of Scientology from editing any articles. It’s a punishment for repeated and deceptive editing of articles related to the controversial religion. The landmark ruling comes from the inner circle of a site that prides itself on being open and inclusive.

It seems as though 'ole Jimmy Wales made one of his patented appeals to the Church of Scientology to quit deceptively editing their Wiki page, was promptly ignored, and JW dropped the hammer on Tom Cruise and Company.  Ha, I can see Jimmy W. freaking out in his office while reading the Scientology page.  "Wiki is like a national park!  Or a library!  And these liars are corrupting it!  They keep deleting "Battlefield Earth" off the page!"



Jimmy, don't be so glib.



The thing is, I'm not sure which group/cult is more batshit - the Scientologists or the people who run Wiki (apparently they have something called an "arbitration committee" that convenes to discuss...who freaking knows what?).  They're both kooky organizations that beg for money and are run by individuals who seem completely delusional.  Wiki with its insistence it will eventually become the center of human knowledge and inspire some kind of global enlightenment, and Scientology with, well, they do teach that life began when billions of people were brought to Earth from outer space and placed around volcanoes that had hydrogen bombs dropped inside of them.  So there's that.

I find it hard to believe if Jimmy Wales and Cruise had sat down they couldn't have figured something out - in exchange for a yearly contribution to Wiki, Scientology can edit its Wiki page however they want.  In the end, everybody wins.  No more freaking appeals from JW begging for money, and the Scientologists can have free reign over their Wiki page (does anyone really care?  No, right?).  Alas, it seems like the Scientologists spit in the face of the Largest Encyclopedia in the World one too many times and now find themselves at the mercy of Jimmy Wales and his 150,000 volunteer army of editors...who will now accept any donations you have available.



"Django" Looks like it will give us another high quality "Ebony and Ivory" Film Pairing.

named 'jango' AND a bounty hunter? has george lucas been notified?

This trailer hit the internet about a week ago, and it looks flippin awesome. i thought tarantino's last movie, inglorious basterds, was his best one since pulp fiction... so i am pretty fired up to see his take on what looks to be a shoot'em up western (or 'southern', i guess).

starring jaime foxx and hans landa... with leo dicaprio as the villain... very cool (from the ultra reliable wiki, tarantino wanted leo to play hans landa in 'basterds' , but a scheduling conflict prevented it... and thank god. leo probably woudl have been good - but chris walz, as his oscar can attest, completely crushed the role of hans landa - and now we can add him to the list of 'go -to's' in tarantino's actor stable. a huge win)


but after viewing the trailer, i think the foxx/walz teaming had serious potential to rank very high on the "ebony & ivory" tandem list.  lets look at some of the other great ones, in no particular order:

say a prayer for duncan... wherever he is

Robin of Locksley & Azeem...
these guys stuck together through thick and thin...until azeem hucked his ali baba sword into crazy lady and paid off his life debt.

unrelated quote:
"you changed you name too latrine?"

"it used to be 'shithouse'"

"that's a good change."

i was always baffled by the pull chain door bell at terry's place

Terry Mann & Ray Kinsella.

one guy said his finger was a gun, the other guy got to go to heaven and write a book about it.. i think... what ever happened to terry mann?

you're not grumbling enough, nolte. grumble LOUDER!

Reggie Hammond & Jack Cates
one guy hates black people and the other hates rednecks.. together hilarity ensues, as well as bullet wounds....

"unprintable racial slur from nolte"

can you get me one of those seat cushions with a hole in the middle

Ellis Redding & Andy Dufrense
 azeem goes to jail for killing the old lady, meets andy. azeem now goes by red, and is a man who can get things. he gets andy a mini pick ax, but not any bodyguards as andy gets repeatedly raped. he then meets up with andy in mexico to enjoy all the money andy stole from jail.

"dear red, thanks for not stepping in as the sisters ran train on me. here's a black rock and some cash... see you in mexico. your friend, andy"

cold! cold! cold!

 Rocky Balboa & Apollo Creed

lets just move on

forrest, one day i'm gonna bbq up some shrimp in Noble's Holler

  








Forrest Gump & Bubba Blue
two guys meet in boot camp... one guy has an awesome idea. he dies, other guy steals idea and makes bazillions. pays off his guilt with a huge check to dead guys mom.

you run like hays, but you suck at hoops

Sidney Dean & Billy Hoyle
white guy has a gambling problem and can't jump... the other guy is black.... and also can't jump....
and rosie perez is involved....

Monty Brewster & Spike Nolan
black guy inherits 30 mil, white guy mooches off of him.... both guys stink at baseball.

Spike:  I don't think it's racial you know, because I'm fat and white, and your skinny and black.... hey, i think thats boggs from shawshank?"


Boggs: "which one of you want to take what i'm gonna give you?"

Monty: "None of the above!!!"

justin long... not nearly as cool as this trio

John McClain & a series of increasingly angry black guys

one guy is white, and always getting into trouble... the other guy's black and helpin that crazy honkey out.

the bad guys in "vengence" must have known mcclains past, becuase when he had to wear that racial sign in the beginning, i was like "its not true! carl winslow is his buddy! and that white haired black guy too!"

sam jackson took the role to a whole nother level. they really shoudl have zeus return in the next die hard.

"that dolphin ring you bough was so gay, steve"

 Steven Hiller & David Levinson

One guy loves to smoke stogies, the other guy loved to ride a bike and talk in staggered vocal patters... the aliens killed goldblums raspy voiced gay buddy, and will smiths crooner/pilot buddy.

together they fly to an alien ship and rickroll it into submission.

the sequel should have a super advance race of Na'avi attacking earth...  i really want to root against them.

my shootin hand is like rick ankiels pitching hand

 Sheriff Bart & The Waco Kid
white guy gets drunk, black guy 'whips this out'

taggert recruits boggs to do up an old number 6 on andy dufrense.

we've successfully made oranges part of the plot! you owe me $1

Billy Ray Valentine &Louis Winthorpe III

rich white guy and poor black guy trade places......

hilarity and a topless jaime lee curtis ensue.

they do stock market stuff with oranges.

white guy looks good, black guy feels good.

i think we know vince would definitely give a guy a foot massage.

Jules Winnfield & Vincent Vega

one guy is a car in the red, the other guy is a mushroom cloud layin muthafucka.

they kill people

one guy walks the earth, one guy makes pop tarts and get killed.

out of sequence filming makes them both be alive at the end.

Riggs & Murtaugh

some of the finest example of blackface and blackvoice.









that was exhausting...  i am sure i forgot some... apologies to axl foley and billy rosewood... agent K and J.... and i'm sure a few more.

at any rate, i think django unchained is a can;t miss... unless george lucas somehow got his hands on it.

slave turned bounty hunter... with a jet pack