GA co-ed's hobbies include weapons, bombs & drugs



"I am not one for selective targeting but mass destruction" - "Alchemy" Savage



Law enforcement agencies raided the home of Celia Alchemy Savage Wednesday. Now the student is facing federal charges for the stash of weapons and illegal drugs she was keeping, according to documents filed in U.S. District Court in Gainesville.
Savage allegedly told the FBI that her hobby is blowing up toilets in the woods. To do that, she made five to seven pipe bombs.
"Manufacturing explosive devices and detonating them for recreation was her hobby," according to an ATF report.

Holy SHIT does Celia "Alchemy" Savage know how to have a good time (I'm not sure if her middle name is also a nickname, I'm assuming it is because it just fits so well...like she knows how to turn everything into a good time.  Or at the very least an extremely dangerous/exciting time).  Fucking cammo shorts, tank top, and holding (2) handcannons that look like they could punch a hole clean through the Great Wall of China.  And on top of everything else, ""manufacturing explosive devices and detonating them for recreation [is her] hobby."  I mean, this chick is intimidating the crap out of me. 

I can only assume that's a cooler of frosties behind her.  Savage?  Goddamn right.

This chick is a freaking national treasure.  What other country in the world can produce a woman like this??  Maybe Australia?  The USA is awesome.  I think we could send this girl into France simply armed with her portfolio of facebook pics and they would immediately surrender.  Of course "Alchemy" Savage would probably just say "fuck you, no thanks" and leave because she didn't want to rule a country full of douchebags who can't hunt, kickbox, drive motorcycles, wrestle boa constrictors, jump out of airplanes, and aren't qualified experts with every weapon ever used in the "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare" series.

That she is able to do all of these things while also taking bong hits and smoking meth only adds to her legend.  Probably the most amazing thing is the Federal team that conducted the raid all escaped still breathing oxygen.  I'd giggi my pants if I walked into a house and saw this insane combination of guns, ammo, badass pictures, and drugs.  I think it would occur to me I was in over my head and run like hell for the door.

I highly recommend checking out the story I linked to above; after reading the quotes from her dad this picture begins to make a little more sense. "Oh, she's a real good person," Tommy Savage said about his daughter Celia. "She likes to hunt and fish. She loves shooting. She goes sky diving. All kinds of stuff like that that you wouldn't really typically think of a young lady doing. "

Mr. Savage, with all due respect, I wouldn't expect freaking Green Berets and Navy SEALs to be doing half the batshit stuff your daugther does.