The Mets: The Movie!

I find it impossible not to get a little excited about opening day... even when its a season that has a bleak outlook... baseball is back, and that's always fun.... granted its more fun when you think the team has got a legit shot at a title, but every year some team seems to come out of nowhere to compete... and this year i hope the mets can do that.

if not, i still have fantasy baseball.

as a defense mechanism, mets fans have to have a sense of humor... otherwise you are simply going to have a nervous breakdown... so for laughs i started to imagine the mets/madoff saga as a movie.... i have not decided if it should be a comedy or an unintentionally funny drama.

at any rate, i put out a casting call and have most of the main roles filled out for "The Mets: The Movie!"

first up , the role of Fred Wilpon. look no further than that great Larry Hankin. (carl from billy madison... also the guy who played kramer on 'jerry' on seinfeld).

Jeff Wilpon: "Dad, the news is saying we are involved in a ponzi scheme... what does that mean?
Fred: "Uh..... I dunno"

The younger wilpon needs to have the acting chops to play comedy with a dash of nervous and crazy. perfect for Crispin Glover!.

jeff wilpon: "dad, we should sign jason bay!"
fred: "what? why"
jeff: "darth vader came down from planet vulcan and said he would melt my brain if we didn't sign jason bay"
fred: "well, we can't have that"

There are rumors that robert deniro has been cast to play Bernie Madoff in a film, but i've got a better one. Bob Gunton. Warden Norton would knock this one out of the park (after they moved the fences in, obviously)... I have no idea what bernie was like behind closed doors, but i would have gunton be such an over the top villian - just like norton.

fred: "bernie... things have gotten real bad with our money. we need this to stop"
bernie: "Nothing stops. Nothing... or you will do the hardest time there is. No more protection from the SEC. They'll pull you out of that brand new stadium and cast you down with the Pirates! You'll think you've been f'd by the 7 Train! And Jose Reyes? Gone... you'll be sealed off from all the free agents, brick by brick. We'll have us a little ticket barbecue in centerfield. They'll see the flames for miles. We'll dance around it like Cleveland Indians! You understand me? Catching my drift?... Or am I being obtuse?"

terrifying stuff. 

but the beacon of light has got to be Sandy Alderson. we need an actor who can deliver cruelly harsh lines, but at the same time be a calming force. this role was made for John Terry, most well known for his role as Christian Shephard on 'Lost'.... This is a guy who made me feel ok that everyone was dead at the end of Lost... he's gotta be able to pull off Alderson.

Jeff Wilpon: "You think you can fix this franchise? Are you for real?
Sandy : " I sure hope so. Yeah, I'm real. You're real. Everything that's happened to you is real. All those people in the stands, they're all real too"

in an odd bit of coincidence (or fate?) the role of Terry Collins will be played by the actor Jack Shepherd.  As far as i know, his best bit of work came as the convict mechanic "Dysart" in the underrated ray liotta movie "No Escape".

sandy: "you don't waste time, do you Mr. Collins?"
collins: "The components are made here in florida and then assembled in queens."

So the actors who are playing the mets GM and manager remind me of 'Lost' and 'No Escape'.

terrific. 

While all of the players can't be main characters, we need to have a few.  What better role for Russel Crowe to push his boundaries, and exploring a complicated character than by taking on the role of RA Dickey?  mountain climbing, knuckle balling, star wars quoting ace! I think this could be an oscar nomination for Crowe.

RA Dickey: "Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so! Keep your eye on the ball! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Queens! and you're already dead"

There have been reluctant heroes in films before... but its a tough role to play the good-natured reluctant villain... but that's the role of Jason Bay.  The guy for this is Aaron Stanton, better known as Ken Cosgrove from Mad Men.

Jason Bay: 'They want us to hate each other, Lucas. I refuse to participate in that"

we also need a tragic figure. Johnny Galecki gets to expand his dramatic range as Daniel Murphy.

Murphy: "I broke my leg again turning two" 






so that's the most of the cast for The Mets: The Movie!... barring copyright law, i think maybe we should steal the tagline from wayne's world for this one. You'll Laugh. You'll Cry. You'll Hurl.... or maybe something much simpler and comically depressing:

whatever, i'm still fired up for the opener. Lets Go Mets Go!